Hello you sexy sexy people. :) What could I say about me? I'm loud , occasionally hyper , and I will create havoc when provoked. Im in love with the concept of dancing , theres nothing i'd rather do. Im thankful for the things I have , friends , family and everything in between. Dont ask me about my political views , you will not like what you hear. Im the one with the wierd ideas , and unfortunately , theyre the ideas you actually listen to. I believe that life is what you make of it. No point in wasting it on people who clearly aren't worth the time. And carpe diem , sieze the day , coz no one else is gonna do it for ya! ;)

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layout: * etoile filante
colours: mintyapple
icons: cablelines
background: materialisti-c

The " Mood "

Oh yes , embrace it and fear it. Apparently I'm in a 'mood' , and no , it's not THAT mood , that once a month crap that all females like to pull on unsuspecting friends and family members.

This is more of a random mood , it could be a happy one , a sad one , or just somewhere in between. And now , i just feel sombre.

No , no , there has not been a death or anything along those lines. But there is a loss somewhere in the picture. My mojo perhaps? God , i feel so moodless now. It's like every battle is not even worth fighting anymore , i've lost the desire to prove a point , or to correct a statement. A very simple ' just screw it ' mentality. And the worrying part is , I have no idea why.

I suppose I could pin it all on exam stress. But the situation is so much more complex than that. Somewhere in the back of my mind , the feeling of being disconnected is proving its guilt in the situation.

Thats what it is .
Disconnected. Isolated . Not intentionally , but in a way that you would never realise until you invest thought into it. I dont choose to be apart from people , nor do i do things intentionally to get under people's skin. Its just a lost sense. Like I've been equipped with a map but its unreadable. Or given directions to the middle of nowhere. Just totally and completely....

LOST.

Thank God Its Friday.

Hellll to the yes lah. This friday marks a week away from the REDANG trip. Oooooh. Haha! As usual , im thinking about the beach. It helped during Accounts when my brain ALMOST popped out of my 'noggin. Accounts is shites , officially lah , but i wanna be an accountant! :P

ORRRR , i was thinking of majoring in medicine and minoring in sound engineering. In other words , i'll end up being a chick Timbaland who can also perform brain surgery. Not bad ehh!
Imma be a Dr. DJ Sonia in the hizzzzle. Or something like that. Im open to options.

On my other to do list is to go for SPEED RACER. Apparently its shit cool. Whadda ya expect from the makers of the matrix lah. Im going for the Mach 5 mainly. The next fella who pulls up in one-ah those right , I'm immediately in love. Heheee.

oh well ,
gotta cram for Add Maths tomorrow,
Not like we're gonna use it in the real world,
But hey ,
Lifes aint fair shit.
x

EXAM PMS.

Hello there. Oh yeah , exam pms is a new term ive discovered. Its somewhere along the lines of PMS and exam stress. In other words , avoid someone with exam pms at all costs. In this case , me of course.

Lemme just make it clear that i HATE exams. Obviously who doesnt la right. 'Specially BM. I sat for 15 minutes just blank out stoning at the exam paper before deciding to do something. HAHA. Bet you im getting like a C for that lah. But whatever , not like im gonna use it in the real world. ;)

In other more fun-related things , i realised that im hardly gonna be at home the 23rd onwards. Busy sial. And im itching to go to redang for the class trip. Thats borderline ALL im thinking about now. The beach , the relaxation , the sun. Ooohh , got me tingling. LOL. But yeah , im in the mood to go wreak havoc on the East Coast. Muahahah. Tapi also a bit bummed out , for thinking that the sunday school trip is in PD when its in KL. Eeeeeeshhh , spoiler isnt it? But hey , all i need is my charmaine-y and some lame ass jokes , rest assured there will be fun.

And also , to all the momma's out there , Happy Belated Mums Day. You know you rock our socks.

So yeah ,
Crap ,
Gotta study accounts now
* screams *

P.S. : Post exams , im gonna be one happy mutha-f.....

Current Mood : SMOOOOTH JAZZ.

Im feeling as relaxed and as slow moving as jazz on a saturday. The soulfulness of the saxophones and those infectious beats. Hehe , im in the mood man. I suppose i do need some smooth jazz serenading me. After one hell of an awesomely exhausting weekend , its nice to kick back and appreciate some good micheal buble. My current "ultimate" favourite is ' call me irresponsible ' , a romantic twist on a humorous attitude. :) . ME LIKEYYY.

And while swaying to the music , I pretty much dedicate this post to Charmaine Anne , an interestingly hyper human being , and one hell of a friend. :D . 80% of my eventful saturday was spent with such a giggly fellow , eating waffles followed by Iron Man. Honest to god , if fellers were at least HALF as witty as he is , sighhhh..... well , you catch my drift. :P. And of course , thanks to her awesomely awesome brother for putting up with us. 'Specially my distracting conversations in the middle of a movie.

Also , I'd like to comment on the FABOLOSITY of the Yellow House for winning overall. HELL , we ALL knew we could do it. Haha! Congrats to all yellowerss. AND we came in 2nd for cheer! WHOOT WHOOT! All thanks to our dedicated as hell captain , Kila. :D . You know we love ya!

But still man , i was aching after saturday , partially coz of cheer , and some coz of grinning at the awesome sports day i attended. Which brings me back to my smooth jazz phase. Im soothed , and relaxed. And possibly recharged for next weeks mid year exams? Haha , fingers crossed.
Till next time ,
x

Call me unpredictable ,
Tell me Im impractical ,
Rainbows Im inclined to pursue,

Call me irresponsible ,
Yes, I'm unreliable ,
But still undeniably true ,
That Im iressponsibly mad for you.

;)

Hot
Cold

Sweet
Sour

Joy
Tears

Pleasure
Regret

Love
Hate

You
Me

youve got me hot cold. you taste sweet sour. you make me joyfully teary-eyed. you give me pleasure regret. i love hate you. this is you and me. i honestly dont know what i feel towards you anymore. there is NO word to describe it. all i know , is that my heart is wrapped around your finger. youve got me on a string. im confused and frustrated. but youre making it incredibly difficult to hate you. and the sappy songs replaying on my ipod arent helping. i wish you could just be a man , and tell me. but i realise , come hell or high water , its not going to happen. i somehow find no harm in hoping. i do believe , you owe me that much.

think about it.
x

Things have not been their greatest lately. Im not bringing up old issues , but I had to get some things off my chest first. To all the people i've hurt directly , or indirectly. To the ones who took the wrap. To the ones who protected me , to the ones who made me realise. To the ones who dragged me out of the havoc. To the ones who keep my sanity intact. To the ones whose love and support i feel i really do not deserve. To the ones who stuck by me all this while. I have only one thing to say;

As for now , im reapproaching things , and starting anew , because i feel that i owe all of you that much. Know that you all are always in my prayers , and will continue to have my care and support , no matter what.

i love you all. :)

I know i should be feeling on top of the world. Exams finished , blissfully enjoying the time i have off that hellhole i like to call school , free time to actually do the stuff i have the passion for.

But thanks to some certain people in life. I do not enjoy that privilige much. So instead of wasting my time trying to prove points and make changes for the better , I've decided to post this up. The title of this would obviously have to be :


HATER SESSION. YEAH , IT COULD WELL BE ABOUT YOU.

Im not going to go start naming. But im sure if you really do have an effing conscience the guilt will set in pretty soon.

There are the INSTIGATORS , who poke fire and create issues , who really , and i mean it in the harshest way possible , have NO life. Then there are people , whose minds have not evolved from when they were five years old , who still come up with absolutely bombastic statements and assumptions. And they behave like five year olds too , getting miffed over petty issues. Of course there is also the BUSYBODY , the one who CANNOT keep his/her mouth shut , instead enjoys telling the world of my every move in life , the REALLL stupid ones , y'know ? Oh yes , and also the ones who preach about stuff they never practise.

On the other side of the black rainbow, is the infinite pot of nothing. Nothing in the sense that the significance of certain things really do mean nothing in the end. During its the world to us , but when the time comes , im glad i moved along. To better things. Namely , people who take you for granted. And never put an ounce of effort into anything they do. And expect you to be there to save the day. I have news for those people , go find another worshipper you can push around at free will. Cos im so past caring. And those who never question the " powers that be " for the wrong reasons. A REAL person would fight for what they know is right. And not hide away. Like some people whom i know. And of course there are the fake people , with the smiles and the conversation . Really , you people deserve Emmy's for all the work u put into giving that much of a false impression.

I think ive vented enough.

Regardless , of what u may think from this , the real people involved would most certainly know the issue. You can keep thinking you're so damn right all the time , or that its my fault entirely for every screwed up aspect of your seemingly " perfect " existence.

I think what im trying to say is :

Im not sacrificing ANYTHING for YOU people ANYMORE , and if YOU want to WALK AWAY , then by all means.

Because , like i once told someone : People come && People go. Its pretty common knowledge.


THINK ABOUT IT.

I thank God for these epiphanies that really make you realise things.
Amen.